Domestic Violence Awareness Month....

So this morning, I logged onto Blackboard and checked out the announcements for trips and other special events going on for the upcoming quarter. One announcement in particular was regarding domestic violence and how this month is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. There were discussions about it on the Healthy Cafe discussion boards. One of the topics was entitled "Love Doesn't Hurt!!!"

The question was also asked: Does the victim "deserve" what he or she gets when someone who claims to love him or her lashes out in an abusive way--either verbally or physically? Referring to the Chris Brown/Rihanna situation, did she "push" his buttons--or did he have control over his actions? And more importantly, if he suffered abuse by watching his mother being physically abused as a child, will it turn up in destructive ways if it is not dealt with by talking to a therapist or other trusted adult?

This question, maddening as it may seem (to me, too), is important, because some in society feel that if only the victim wouldn't "do" certain things to make the abuser angry, then he or she wouldn't do it. This assigns blame to the victim, rather than encouraging both the victim and the abuser to seek help (the victim in a support group; the abuser in a therapy or other session) and more often than not encourages a cycle of violence to continue. The abuse has to be confronted in order for the cycle to start to be broken.